i'm "leaving" tonight.

i realised tonight ,
that i've been too constricted in the thoughts of "what could have been".
i totally neglected reality.
thinking if i hung on fer a lil' longer, MAYBE it would have worked out right.
thinking, if i be patient with him , maybe we could ignore what's hidering me.
the "what could have beens" have been resticting me fer long enough.
its either i live fer myself ,
or i live in days hoping you'll love me back.
its absurd how i've allowed myself to walk this path twice.
its ridiculious how you say you care fer someone and yet treat them like shit.
how ironic can love be?
maybe i should stop blaming love ,
and ask myself , reflect upon what i've done wrong.
what have i done?
that you'll do me so wrong?
i'm tired of hearing myself say the same things over and over.
no matter how much work/effort i put in ,
no matter how much patience i have ,
no matter how much love i could bleed ,
it's never gonna move his heart.
today i finally know where i stand.
in the midst of this crowd ,
in his heart of hearts.
i know.
he's done nothing diabetic ,
he done nothing hell-raising.
he doesnt deserve to.. ..
i've done nothing but be patient,
i havent done anything hell - raising.
i dont deserve to be treated like this.

i dont like guessing games ,
tho i may have planty of time fer games.
i dont like wishywashy ,
tho i'd like to start from basics.
i don't like being trated this way ,
tho i may have big love fer you.
i'm leaving tonight.

whether you attend my party or not,
it doesnt matter to me anymore.
i'm not gonna cry.
i'm not going back.
i've said enough.

-brina