the world's weight feels like its caving in on me day by day.

it's harder and harder to wear these masks ,

as it gets heavier and heavier.

my mum's favouritism finally got to me.

so did my other siblings' lack of tactful-ness is really a huge bummer.

my mum still doesnt see this light.

all she sees is her other kids being the best.

she thinks my education is a burden.

she prolly thinks im a burden too. oh well. shit happens.

she practically dissed me off while consulting her regarding my 21st's.

she'll be the sole reason why i'll live to regret my entire life the year 2010.

till i'm 80 and die , and become a wandering ghost cux i cannot rest in peace ;

cux i never celebrated this number, and i'll forever be a loser my whole life,

and live to regret each dying day, why my mother's favourtism begins to chew on me,

lil' by lil' each dying day.

this is the 2nd time i wished the world really ended in 2012.

so all my misery could be washed away in that storm tt wud come.

seriously ; i hate my life and everyone in it.

everybody is being fucked up. idk why.

which is prolly why im not functioning well.

fuck this shit man.

sabbybaby.

Headed To ButterFactory With Zing And Asaph ;

Happy BOXING DAY!

It Was Great Fun Till Past 2 ;

Hi-light Of My NIGHT

Met Baby! =))

Came To Fetch Me Outside Butter.

And Off WE Went!

To Our Night Out Rendevous.

(Made Him Cam-whore wimme. LOL)

I'm HappyHappyHappy ;

Tho I Know In My Hearts Of Hearts;

That Knock-Knock At The Back Of My Head ;

That Its The Kind Of Short-Lived Bliss

I Know I Should Cherish Each Second ;

And I Should Appreciate Each Day Itself.

Nonetheless, It's How My Heart Smiles ;

And Not How My Pillows Hear My Cry.

We're Too Alike Tonight-

Too Nonchalant On Our Part.

We Fergot ; Time Was'nt On Our Side.

One Day We'll Be Like Strangers Yet Again.

Till Tmr, And Days After Tmr's Tmrs ;

I'll Still Be Loving You ;

With Every Fiber In My Being.

I Hope You'd Learnt From Your Past Relationships,

I Hope You'd Understand -

Time And Tide Wait Fer No Man.

If You Want Me ; You Gotta Work Fer It.

Its How Wearily, Each Day That I Try Even Harder,

That Wears Me Thin.

I Love You ;

But Never From Afar.

I'll Never Do Just That.

I'll Never Settle Fer That.

I Love You ;

"Perhaps One Day You'd Love Me Back"

-sabbybaby.

i seriously hate my life and every persons in it.

EVERY.

including every man i wished i never fell fer,

how i wished i never let anyones' judgements get to me.

why cant they stop judging?

is that all they can do?

judge me? so as to pass off as being slightly superior to me?

i mean honestly ; if i make it a point not to judge you ;

you don't fucking set your fucking opinions ;

i never asked fer it either.

why is everything going wrong?

and i'm the only one bearing all of these nonsense.

i hate this shit!

i don't wanna give up ;

but i know there's nothing there fer me to press on fer.

fuck this shit man.

❤

Till This Day I Feel;

I'm Only Secondary To You.

Your Intentions Were There ;

But Your Heart Isnt Here With Me.

I Wished You Cared A Little More ;

I Wished You Knew You Meant The Entire World.

I Wished You Realised I Actually Do Matter ;

I Wished You Knew How I Wanna Be With You.

I Wished I Mattered A Little More To You ;

I Wished You Knew I Have So Many Things To Say To You.

I Wished You Read This ;

I Wished You Knew This Was Fer You.

I Wished I Had Your Heart ;

I Wished I Was Good Enough.

I Wished I Was Halve As Good As Them Before ;

I Wished You'd Truly Love Me Fer Who I Am.

I Wished You Were Beside Me In This Storm ;

I Wished You Filled My World With Laughter And Much More Joy.

I Wished You Allowed Me In ;

I Wished You'd Give Me The Honours Of Bearing Part Of The World's Weight With You.

I Wished You Knew How Much You Mattered To Me ;

I Wished You Knew How Much It Pained Me.

I Wished You'd Be That Pillar Of Strength I Need In Tough Times To Come;

I Wished You Knew You'r The Only Reason Why I'm Still Here.

I Wished You'd Just Allow Me In ;

I Wished You Hadnt Allowed You Past To Judge How I Should Be Treated.

I Wished I Could Tell You "I LOVE YOU BABY" Every Single Night;

I Wished I Never Knew The Replies To That Phrase.

I Wished You Were Here ;

This Christmas ; All I Wish For Is You, Baby.

❤

I shouldn't have walked away

I would have stayed, if you’d said

We could've made everything okay,

but we just

threw the blame back and forth.

We treated love like a sport.

The final blow hit so low I'm still on the ground.

I couldn't prepare myself for this fall.

Shattered in pieces curled on the floor.

Supernatural, love conquers all.

Remember we used to touch the sky?

(Chorus)

And lightning don't strike

the same place twice.

When you and I

Said goodbye

I felt the angels cry.

True love’s a gift.

But we let it drift

in the storm.

Every night,

I feel the angels cry.

Come on babe,Can our love be revived?

Bring it back and we gon' make it right.

I'm on the edge just trying to survive,

as the angels cry.

Limitless omnipresent kind of love.

Couldn’t have guessed. It would just stop

and disappear, in a whirlwind

here I am

walking on this narrow rope.

Wobbling but won't let go.

Waiting for a glimpse of the suns glow.

I know I can stand just pull me back up.

There ain’t a hurricane it’s just us.

I'm willing to live and die for our love.

Baby we can get back that shine.

(Repeat Chorus)

baby im missin

Don't allow our love to lose

We gotta ride it through

i'm reachin for you

(Chorus version 2)

And lightning don't strike

the same place twice.

When you and I

Said goodbye

I felt the angels cry.

True love’s a gift

But we let it slip

in the storm.

Every night,

I feel the angels cry.

Once upon a time
We swore not to say goodbye
Something got a hold of us
And we changed
And you sat alone in pride
And I sat at home and cried
How'd our fairy tale just end up this way?

We went round for round
Til' we knocked love out
We were laying in the ring
Not making a sound
And if that's a metaphor of you and I
Why is it so hard to say goodbye?

I can't wait to hate you
Make you pain like I do
Still can't shake you off
I can't wait to break through these emotional changes
Seems like such a lost cause
I can't wait to face you
Break you down so low there's no place left to go
I can't wait to hate you
Oooh

This was a love
That no one
Not no one
Could explain
And I wish I could press reset and feel that feeling again
I sit and press rewind
And watch us every night
Want to pause it but I can't make it stay

We went round for round
Til' we knocked love out
We were laying in the ring
Not making a sound
And if that's a metaphor of you and I
Why is it so hard to say goodbye?

I can't wait to hate you
Make you pain like I do
Still can't shake you off
I can't wait to break through these emotional changes
Seems like such a lost cause
I can't wait to face you
Break you down so low there's no place left to go
I can't wait to hate you
Oooh

No need to call my phone
Because I changed my number today
And matter fact I think I'm moving away (away)
Sorry the frustrations got me feelin' a way
And I just keep having one last thing to say
And I just want to hold you, touch you, feel you
Be Near you, I Miss you babe babe babe (babe babe babe)
I am tired of tryin to fake through
But there is nothing I can do
Boy I can't wait to hate you

I can't wait to hate you
Make you pain like I do
Still can't shake you off
I can't wait to break through these emotional changes
Seems like such a lost cause
I can't wait to face you
Break you down so low that there's no place left to go
I can't wait to hate you babay
Oooh

Till 2010 ; I'll Still be Loving You.

I'm Not Supposed To Be Blogging At This Moment ;

Cux i'm Supposed To Be Mugging Fer Tmr's Econs ;

But I Figured It's The Next Best Outlet To Filling A Void.

-

I Miss You Terribly.

Although I'm Independent In My Own Ways ;

I Realised I Cant Be Without You.

I Too ; Want Somebody To Depend On.

Through Weakness And Through Health ;

Through Poverty And Through Wealth.

But I Will Never Understand Your Reluctance ;

Your Awful Fronting ; My Fears Your Weariness ;

My Eagerness ; My Patience.

How Leisurely I Figured ; We've Fallen Head Over Heels.

Or Maybe I'm Over- Analyzing.

Eitherways ; I Know Deep Somewhere in My Heart ;

I'd Only Be Able To See You In 2010.

Den In 2010's March ; June ; Sept ; And If We Made It That Far ; Dec.

I Don't Like It.

I Don't Like Being Your Little Puppet.

How I Can't Come To Terms With Myself ;

The Ways I Allowed You To Have Your Way.

The Things I Compromised To Accommodate.

The Emotions I Held Back ; Just Fer Your BrokenBroken Heart.

The Amount Of Patience I Have Fer You ;

It Runs Thin.

I Cannot Pine Each Day Fer Your Enlightenment.

I've Stopped Pinning Wishes And Hopes On You.

I Realised It'll Only Bring Me To More Shame.

It's Like We've Embarked On A Journey Into The Dark.

With No Goal In Mind - A Persistent Heart ; A Weary Soul.

You've Lived A Life Before Me ;

And Too Much Was Robbed In That Life.

Till This Day That Fate Decided To Play More Games.

That Landed Us In Each Others' Life.

This Part Of A Lie Isnt What I'd Wished Fer.

You'r Entitled To Having A Life With Whoever You Chose Captured Your Heart.

Instead ; You Chose To Let Your BrokenBroken Heart Rule You.

Your Eyes Are Blinded By Pain ;

Accustomed To What You've Always Had.

You Never Thought I Would Be Different.

You Expected Me To Be Like The Rest.

I'll Be Whatever You Want Me To Be ;

If Its Like The Rest I Should Be ; So Be It.

It's What You Chose.

You Had The Options But You Blew It.

Fate Brought You Here ; But You Decided Your BrokenBroken Heart Was Worth Much More Than I Was.

-❤

I Don't See The Point ;

Of Working So Hard ;

Try Prove To You That I'm Fer Real.

That'll Be There Fer You Whenever The Storms Hits ;

Whenever You'v Had A Bad Day ;

Whenever It's Joyous.

I Getting Weary ; Of This Constant Shoving.

Everyday It's Just Another "Waiting In The Rain" Kinda Thing.

I'll Soon Run Out Of Ideas How To Love You Without Being Me.

I'll Soon Ferget How It Felt Holding You.

I'll Soon Ferget That Face I Once Couldnt Get Over.

I'mma Press On ; Every Day I Tell Myself This ;

Problem Is ; I Don't Know Where SHould I Start.

I Know At The End Of The Day I'm Gonna Be At The Start Again.

See-ing LoveyDoveys Isnt Fun At All.

It Really Isnt.

How I Hate Myself ; To Allow You To Do Me So Wrong.

One Day ; I'm Gonna Learn How To Live Without You.

-One Day.

De Javu;

I Don't Know If I Should Be Buying Your Crap.

Or Should I Be Listening To My Girls.

Or Should I Be Listening To My Guts.

Or Should I Follow My Heart?

I Don;t Understand.

And The More I Don;t Understand ;

The More It Makes Me Wanna Cry.

Nobody Truly Knows The Things You Do To Me.

Tho They'll Never Understand The Ways You Made Me Smile.

How I Cannot Reel Away From You ,

How I Figure My Eyes Sparkled ;

They'll Never See Nor Hear It.

What We Had Was Pretty.

It Was'nt Fantastic ;

It Could Have Been Splendid.

You Too ; Don't Realise That I'm Human ;

And That I Have Emotions ; Needs ; And Wants.

All You Think About Is You, Yourself And You.

And How You've Been Hurt.

Emphasizing The Amount That's Been Robbed ;

To You Indeed ; However You Deny ;

I'm A Toy ;

How Relunctant You've Been To Allow Yourself To Heal.

How You Couldnt Bear To Let You Of Your "Past"

Even Though You Know That I'll Do My Best.

Afterall ; I'm Never Gonna Be Good Enough For You.

I'm Never Gonna Be As Good As "Them".

Cux Afterall "They're" Whom YOU Choose To Cling On To.

I've Never Expected You To Give Your Heart To Me ;

I've Never Expected You To Gimme Undivided Attention EVERY Single Day.

And I Hoped Was A Lil' Time Tucked Away Fer Me.

Even If It Was Cruising Around ;

Even If It Was Kickin' Up Em' Heels.

I Never Expected You To Put Away Work Just To Attend To My Whining.

All I Wanted Was An Aknowledgment; A Form Of Assurance ;That Obsenely Wee Amount Of Security.

I Never Needed Roses By My Door ;

I Never Needed A Diamond Key.

I Never Needed Them Flashy Rides.

While All You Could Think Of Was Your BrokenBroken Heart,

That You So Refuse To Recuperate.

You've Never Had The Intentions Of Letting Me In ;

Yet I've Allowed You To Consume Me Enitrely ;

What A Fool I Am And Have Been.

I Ought To Be Ashamed Of My Foolishness ;

Thinking You'd Truly Fall Fer A Girl Like Me.

It Hurts Me When You Don't Bother.

Like I Don't Matter.

Like Sorry Could Stop Those Tears.

Sometimes I Just Wonder ;

If I Wasnt Who I Am Today ;

You'd Probably Love Me Better.

Probably`.

-Brina

what i used to say ; N_ _ka-phobia.

You Prolly "Came Back"

To Either Mess Up My Life ;

Or To Once Again Manipulate The Soft Spot I Have Fer You.

You Know I Can't say No To You.

You ; Are Like The Drug I Know Is Bad Fer Me ;

I Know I Mustnt Give In To Temptations ;

Still When Faced With A Question Of Yes And No ;

You Know I Can't Say No To You.

The Only Person Who Calls Me By This ;

And The Only Voice I'd Recognize From A Distant.

I Wanna Know Why Do You?

Why Did You?

You Left Without A Word Remember?

I Don't Hold A Grudge Against You ;

It's Too Tiring.

And Fer Anything In The World ;

ILY ; But To You ;

I'm Only There Fer Fun.

Fer Your Pleasures And Such.

To You I'm Only A Toy.

It's Probably Never Occured To You That I'm Human ;

I Too Have Emotions Needs And Wants.

Fer Every Logic That You Ever Had ;

I'll Always Be "Number 2".

I'll Never Be What You Want Me To Be.

And You'll Never Change.

After 2 Years You Still Never Change ;

Still The Same As Before ;

Still Disappearing ;

Still Leaving Without A Word.

Still "Flaunting" That Ignorance.

I Can Never Be What You Want Me To Be ;

To You ; Everything Had TO Be Perfect.

I Cannot Act The Way You Want.

ILY But I Can't RE-LIVE My Nightmares.

It Doesnt Matter To You If I Hurt Or Not,

To You ; It's Elemantary.

The Memory Of You ; Haunting.

The Presence Of You ; Petrifying,

Especially When Your Intentions Are Not Known Of.

I Hate The Hold You Have On Me.

I Hate Myself Fer Being This Way.

But I Can't Take Another Of Those "Episodes".

To You I'm Only Here Because You Remember.

It Isn't Because You Loved Me.

- You've Never.

-You've Never Said It To Me.

Your Gonna Say The Same Things He Say

"You've Been Badly Hurt In The Name Of Love".

It Wasn't Once ' It Wasn't Twice.

You Re-invented Phobias.

ILY

-Brin

If The World Ended In 2012 ;

Though I Know Deep Somewhere At The Back Of My Head ;

That I'm Not Priority.

It Doesn't Kill Me ;

Just That It Pierces Like A Bitch.

I Don't Expect You To Gimme Everything I Want;

I Don't Expect You To Gimme Your Heart ;

I Don't Expect You To Hand Me Trust And Faith In A Few Mere Months;

I'm Determined To Work Fer It.

It Doesn't Really Matter How Deep Your Pockets Are ;

Nor How Many Zeros There Are On Your Bank Book ;

I Love The Way You Are.

You May Not Know How Much I've Written About You;

You May Not See The Silly Smiles I Flash ;

You May Not Be Perfect ;

Only A Huge Red Bow Over You'll Do That.

I Don't Know Where I'm Going.

I Don't Know If You'll Be There At The End Of The Day.

These Uncertainties ; I Hope Would Work Out.

I Hope To Bring You Home One Day In My Pockets;

And Show You To My Mommy.

I Hope My Mommy Wishes Me Love ;

I Hope My Mummy Doesn't Dislike What I Live For.

I Hope One Day You'll Realise How Much I'm Head Over Heals For You.

The Only Thing Left In My Being Was Loving You.

I May Have A Bleeding Heart Fer Boys Like You ;

But I Hope You'll Not Disappoint Me ;

I Hope Your' Not Like "Them".

I Pray That You'll See What I See.

In These ColdCold Nights ;

All I Craved Was You ;

- I Don't Wanna Be Alone Tonight ;

I Say That Every Night ;

Hoping My Wish Came True.

So Many Things I Want You To Discover ;

So Many Things I Wanna Know.

The Compilations Of Corny Love Poems/ Songs Could Mount ;

If I Ever Set Foot Into Cliche.

If The World Ended In 2012 Like The Mayans Predicted.

From Today Till Then ;

I'll Be Loving You.

If The World Ended In 2012.

Sometimes All I Need Is Your Comforting Touch.

A Tiny Kind Words ; Go The Entire Mile.

The Sweetest Things To Say ;

Brightens My Entire Day. =)

Trough Tribulations And Temptations;

I Wanna Stay.

I've Anchored My Heart At Where I Stand Today.

This Moment On.

I Love You Baby.

This Confession I Announce Has No 2nd Thoughts Behind It ;

And This I'm Proud Of Myself.

I Find Myself Smiling At The Lil'est Things You'd Said.

I Find Myself In All Kinds Of Silliness ; =)

I Love You Baby ;

Even Though You Drive Me Mad Most Of The Times ;

Even Though I Know I Have To Go On Guessing Each Step I Take ;

But I Don't Wanna Care As Fer Now. 

I Love You. 

No More Doubts ; I Do. =)

All Is Fair ; In The Name Of Love They Say.

I Don't Know What The Future Holds Fer Me ;

I Wouldn't Know What The Future'd Hold Fer You ;

I Couldn't Guess What'd The Future Hold Fer Us ;

But I Know ; I'mma Press On.

Many Times Before ;

I'd Thought Maybe I Should Pull Out Of This ;

Fearing It To Be Another "Circus".

I Tried Looking At Things From Your Point Of View ;

I'd Prolly Figured Somethings Out ;

However ; The Entire Picture Still Reeks Of Mysteries To Me.

I Can't Live Each Day Guessing.

I Can't Go On Each Day Contemplating If It's Worth The While.

Your "One Step At A Time" Rule Is What I Cannot Fathom ;

It Drives Me Crazy ; And I Hate It.

The More I Hate It ;

The More I Can't Seem To Reel Away From You.

Outside My Thoughts ; You Deserve Perfection; That I'm Not.

And Will Never Be.

There Are Somethings That I Can Never Change ;

While There Are SOme Constants That I Do Wanna Change.

It's Like You've Given Up ; And Had Enough ;

But I Want More & More.

I Don't Have Much Time ;

I Don't Have Youth To Gamble ;

I Don't Wanna Remain Back At The Same Spot I Was.

I'm At A Crossroad Where I'm Branching Out Plans Of Life ;

I Wanna Include You In My Blueprints ;

I' Too Have To Include Plans Fer When You'r No Longer Wimme.

But I'm Paralysed By Your "One Day At A Time" Laws.

It'll Never Cross Your Minds ;

How'd It Hurt Me.

'Cause In Your Minds ;

You Don't See Me As "Permanent".

I'm Just A Temporory Source Of "Pain And Pleasures".

When Threatened With Emotions ;

We Tend  To Think Otherwise ;

Looking Elsewhere Fer Answers ;

When We No Longer Get Facts We Wanna Hear From A Particular Party.

Being In Our Own Bubble ;

I'm Forced To Live Behind A Wall You've Built ;

I'm Made To Love You From A Smokescreen.

I've Been There Before ;

And I Never Wanna Be No.2 No More ;

I Told Myself Over And Over Again.

I Hope That I Have A Place In Your Heart;

How Abruptly You've Entered My Life ;

How Intensely I Fell Head Over Heels.

I Hope You'll Not Take My Sunshine Away.

I Love You.

My Sentiments Exactly~

I Never Needed You to Be Strong

I Never Needed You For Pointin' Out My Wrongs

I Never Needed Pain,I Never Needed Strength

My Love for You Was Strong Enough You Should've Known.

I Never Needed You for Judgement

I Never Needed You to Question What I Spent

I Never Ask for Help, I Take Care of Myself,

 I Don't Know Why You Think You Got a Hold On Me.

And It's A Little Late For Conversations

There Isn't Anything That You Can Do.

And My Eyes Hurt, Hands Shiver, So Look At Me And Listen To Me Because,

I don't want to

Stay another minute

I don't want you

To say a single word

Hush Hush, Hush Hush

There is no other way 

I get the final say

Because

I don't want to

Do this any longer

I don't want you

There's nothing left to say

Hush Hush, Hush Hush

I've already spoken

Our love is broken

Baby Hush Hush

I never needed your corrections

On everything from how i act to what i say

i never needed words, i never needed hurt, i never needed you to be there everyday

I'm sorry for the way i let go

Of everything i wanted when you came along

But i am never beaten, broken, not defeated

I know next to you is not where i belong

And it's a little late for explanations

There isn't anything that you can do

And my eyes hurt, hands shiver, so you will listen when i say baby

No more words

No more lies

No more crying ooh ooh

No more pain

No more hurt

No more tryin' Oh Oh Yeah

Because

I don't want to

Stay another minute

I don't want you

To say a single word

Hush Hush, Hush Hush

There is no other way 

I get the final say

Because

I don't want to

Do this any longer

I don't want you

There's nothing left to say

Hush Hush, Hush Hush

I've already spoken

Our love is broken

Baby Hush Hush

Hush Hush, Hush Hush

I've already spoken

Our love is broken

Baby

Silly Does It.

I Can't Do It.

I Can't Look You In The Eye And See "A Friend" In There.

I Can't Look You Straight In The Face And Say I'mma Be Just "A Friend" To You.

It's Absoulutely Absurd To Be Doing This.

Why Can't I Have Just This One Stability?

Am I Not Entittled To It?

The Aspirations I Had Fer You ;

I Merely Became Too Convenient.

It's Hard , To Have To Deny Yourself Of This Lil'est Magic.

And I'm Made To Do It?

Why? Oh Why? Am I Always The Fergotten One.

Did God Make Me On His Day Off Or Sth.?

Saying ILY Was'nt Easy ;

Now It's Only Robbed Of The Least I Have.

Like A Fish Outta The Waters,

idk How To Carry On Without A Will.

Well At Least These Few Months Were Fantastic.

It's Not Consoling To Be Saying That.

But It's Probably A Better Alternative Coping Device

I Have Left In My Being.

My Heart Died The Instant You Said It.

I Could Have Done So Much More ;

We Could Have Done So Much Better.

Thanks For Trying So Hard To Tell Me That True Love Doesnt Exsist ;

And So Does Fairytale Endings ; They're Made Up Of SHit.

Well ; It's That Difficult To Find Someone Who Truly Loves You Fer Who You Are.

And Isn't Sticking Around ; Just To Use You.

I Love You And I Always Will.

❤

Sadly Enough ; I Didnt Last 24 Hours.

At The 21st Hour ; I'm Already Missing You.

I'm So Useless.

How Am I Gonna Live One Day Without You ;

Nor Without Thinking About You?

Guess I'll Just Have To Go One Day At A Time.

Hope;

Came In An Oak Chest.

You've Said It All ; The Only Thing You Had'nt Was Goodbye, My Love.

I Find It Pathetic ; 

How I Havent Any Angst Against What Was Thrown At Me ;

Moments Ago.

I Cannot Function Without Realising The Fact That It's All Crushed ;

With One Simple Phrase ; Less Than A Handful.

I'm Really Not Ok ; That I Know.

So Don't Ask If You Know.

My Heart's Not Broken ;

"Boys Before You Broke It Fer You."

That's Why Today You'r Job Was At It's Easiest.

Cheers To All These Heartache You Caused.

It Doesnt Really Matter How I Feel.

So Long As You'r Happy. ='|

What are little boys made of?

Snips and snails, and puppy dogs tails

That's what little boys are made of !"

What are little girls made of?

"Sugar and spice and all things nice

That's what little girls are made of!"

I'm So Bogged Down Right Now ;

I Don't Have The Mood To Fight FOr What I Feel It Should Be.

In Other Words ; Argue.

In Other Words ; Fight For My Stand.

In Other Words ; Basically Be Nauseating-ly Obnoxious.

In Other Words ; Unreasonable (Bitchy)

Forget I Said All Those.

Since You Said It ;

I Have No Will Defying What You Just Said.

Cux I've Been Thru This Many Times.

I Know What's Gon Happen To Me In The End.

So Yea. I'mma Let You Finnish.

We' May And May Not Finish This Race ;

Even If It Reaches Point B ; I'mma Finnish It With You.

I'mma Stay ; Till You Already Want Me Gone.

You' Just Gosta Say It.

So I Was Pushing It.

I Was The Force Behind It.

I Was The One Who Coined ILY In This.

I Am Being Retarded By Actually Believing.

Trust Me ; Believes Were'nt Meant For Breakfasts.

If It Was ; The Toad Would Have Been Prince Without The Kiss.

Believing And Having Faith And All Is What They Teach Young Kids To Have For Breakfast ;

So When They Grew Up ; Heartbreaks Would'nt Suck That Much.

But It's All So Wrong.

When Someone Who Truly Means The World To You ;

Couldnt Answer One Simple Question.

*BitchSlapped*

I Shouldnt Have Gotten Involved In The 1st Place.

Now I'm Only Having My Desserts. =|

WayToGo!

I Can't Stay Forever,

Tho I'd Choose To ; My Minds Wouldnt Allow.

I Don't Live Forever,

I Can't Wait Till The End Of Time.

Your BGR ; My "Partnership".

Sometimes I Feel That This "Partnership" Has You Dragged It's Feets 

Further Than It Should've Been Stretched.

I Feel That This "Partnership" Depends Heavily On The Sexual Affinities.

I Feel As Though The Limitations Between Us Is Set By How Much Is Set Aside Fer Me ;

And How Much One Is Wiling To Put In.

I Feel As Though You'r Opening Up ;

But Not To Me.

Sometimes I Wonder How Much Was Robbed Before I Came Along ;

That Made It That Difficult To Heal Your Heart ;

No Matter How Much Kisses It Took ;

I Was Willing To Give All That I'm Made Of.

Still , At The End Of The Day ;

You'r The One Who Still Gets The Final Say

This Saga Of Being Unofficial ;

Of Going On The HushHush.

I've Never , In My Wildest Dreams,

Thought I'd Ever Find The Reasons To Smile Again.

But When I Do ;

It's In You ; That I've Found What It Takes Fer Me To Smile.

What Is It , That I Question Time And Again ;

That Draws Me To You?

I Know It's Somewhere In My Heart ;

But I Can't Put A Finger To It.

I Love You ;

And With All My Being;

I Wanna Go On Loving You Unconditionally.

But If My Love Went To Waste ;

It Makes Me Question Again ;

Are You "One Of Them" I Feared Since Day One.

It Always Bogs Me ;

How You Claimed You Were Never "One Of Them",

But When I Look At What I Get ; 

For My Willingness To Love You With All The Being I AM,

I Then Start To Backout A Lil' ;

Afraid I Wouldnt Be Able To Cope,

Bashed By All My Silliness.

So Many Times I Told Myself ;

To Think Me Inferior ; It's Fault On My Part.

To Allow My Insecurities To Get The Better Of Me ;

How Should I Pin The Blame On You?

Note How It Isnt A Relationship;

But Rather A "Partnership".

With A Tingling Sense Of Ridicule

That Stays In The Mouth Like A Bad Taste,

Almost Mortified By Such Absurd Vocabulary ;

In Description Of Such A Beautiful Connoxion

Between To Weary Souls.

I'm Feeling All Absurd This Moment

That All My Friends Know You ;

Thru The Constant Mentions Of You,

-But I'm Never Made Known Of.

I Only Know Too Well How This "Partnership"

Would End.

I've Been There Too Many Times To Be Enthusiastic To Forge Another.

I Love You.

Why Don't Anybody These Days Understand This Language?

Is It Too Odd To Be Speaking Of An Ancient Language?

Or Am I The Only One Who Uses This Language With Too Much Slang?

Why Don't Anybody Fuckin' Understand That ;

If You Don't Mean It ;

Don't Fuckin' Say No Shit.

-

I Love You.

Maybe You Do ;

Maybe You Don't.

❤

muffins&cupcakes ; makes the sweetcakes.

Don't Fly Me Away

Don't Need To Buy A Diamond Key

To Unlock My Heart.

You Shelter My Soul,

You'r My Fire When Im Cold,

You Keep Me Humble 

Outta This Hype.

Cux You Know There's More To Life.

Gotta Feel You And Be Near You,

You'r The Air That I Breathe To Survive.

Gotta Hold You,

Wanna Show You,

That Without You My Sun Doesnt Shine.

There's Nothing I Won't Do Fer You.

I'd Rather be With You

Because I Love The Way You Scream My Name.

And There's No Other Man 

That Give Me What I Want

I'd Rather Be With You,

Because You Hustle Hard To Take Care Of Me

I Rather Be With You,

Boy, I'd Rather Be With You

Why Do I Still Feel Emptiness Piecing Each Solitude I Have?

Why Do I Still Feel Lonely Everytime I Hit My Pillow?

Why Can't I Recall At All ; What Love Is.

Mr. A ❤ B

Mr. B ❤ B

B ❤ Mr. A 

B ¿ Mr. B; 

And The Equation Still Doesn't Tally.

Why?

Lost touch with my soul 

I had no where to turn 

I had no where to go 

Lost sight of my dream, 

Thought it would be the end of me 

I thought I’d never make it through 

I had no hope to hold on to, 

I thought I would break 

I didn’t know my own strength 

And I crashed down, and I tumbled 

But I did not crumble 

I got through all the pain 

I didn’t know my own strength 

Survived my darkest hour 

My faith kept me alive 

I picked myself back up 

Hold my head up high 

I was not built to break 

I didn’t know my own strength 

Found hope in my heart, 

I found the light to life 

My way out the dark 

Found all that I need 

Here inside of me 

I thought I’d never find my way 

I thought I’d never lift that weight 

I thought I would break 

I didn’t know my own strength 

And I crashed down, and I tumbled 

But I did not crumble 

I got through all the pain 

I didn’t know my own strength 

Survived my darkest hour 

My faith kept me alive 

I picked myself back up 

Hold my head up high 

I was not built to break 

I didn’t know my own strength 

There were so many times I 

Wondered how I’d get through the night I 

Thought took all I could take 

I didn’t know my own strength 

And I crashed down, and I tumbled 

But I did not crumble 

I got through all the pain 

I didn’t know my own strength 

Survived my darkest hour 

My faith kept me alive 

I picked myself back up 

Hold my head up high 

I was not built to break 

I didn’t know my own strength

I Miss You Dearly ;

I Don't Know How You Truly Feel.

You've Never Said It To Me In Person.

I Miss You Dearly ;

But You're Probably To Busy To Recall That I Existed.

You'r List Of Priorities Probably Don't Include Me.

I Should Stop Hurting By Now.

I Should Stop Fallin' In Love Fer Now.

I Should Start Getting Back On Tracks Now.

I Love You ;

But You'll Still Be Shutting Me Out.

I Miss You Dearly ;

And Yeap ; I'm Insecure.

I Miss You Dearly ;

But I'm Just Afraid To Stop You In Your Tracks ;

Just To Attend To Me.

I Miss You Dearly ;

But I Think I Should Stop.

I Miss You Dearly ;

So Dearly, You're Prolly Thinkin' How Obnoxious I Am.

I Miss You Dearly ;

And I Should Stop Longing.

I Miss You Dearly ;

I Want Something To Satisfy My Soul ;

Not Any Lovelorn Fronting.

I Miss You Dearly ;

And I Wished You Stayed Forever.

I Miss You Dearly ;

And I've Had Enough Of Love Songs ;

Writing Out My Emotions.

I Had Enough Of Having My Emotions Muted.

I Love You ;

It's Been Said Too Much ;

It'll Soon Lose It's Value.

I Love You ;

I'd Lost Touch Of My Soul;

But I Still Do.

I Wished You Felt I Mattered A Lil' Bit More.

I Wished I Mattered A Lil' More.

I Wished You Really Meant What You Said.

I Wished For You .. .. .. .. 

the demons i live with.

When You Stop Using Your Heart To Connect With Your Emotions-

When You Allow Your Brains To Tell You That You Love Me.

When You Don't Set Aside Time Fer Me ;

You Tell Yourself "Yes ; You Love Me So."

When Your Too Busy ;

Being Caught Up With Things You Know Wouldnt Last.

When You Know Deep In Your Hearts ;

She's Still Got A Hold On You.

When You Allow Thoughts Of Her To Linger ;

To Determine If I'm Worth Your While.

When You Start Using Her As A Yardstick Fer My Love.

When You Begin Abusing My Emotions ;

Using Your Past As To How You Reckon I Should Be Treated.

When You'r Not even Anxious;

Should I Be Having 2nd Thoughts.

Your Actions Speaks Very Astoundingly,

While Everyone Around Me Confirms So;

I'm The Only Fool Left Around ;

Who Refuses To Let Others Get In The Way Of How I Should Love You.

If I Could Stay Rooted Through Temptations ;

Why Can't You Put A Lil' Effort Into Showing I Was Appreciated.

What I Hear ; What I See ; And How I Feel ;

It's A Constant Contradiction.

An Everyday Fear Of A Trepidations.

Something ; Someone ; Somewhere ;So Similar ; So Very Familiar.

This Air Of Nonchalance ;

This Flair Of Indifference That You Seemingly Flaunt;

I've Seen It Before ;

In The Eyes Of Someone I'd Thought Was "The One"

I Know Your Heart's Wounded.

I Know My Insecurities Vexes You.

I Know I'm Not Even Close To Your Perfection.

And All I Wanted Was To Believe That You Really Could Change My "Mentality".

I Wanna Be There Fer You.

I Wanna Be Beside You In A Storm;

I Wanna Hold You In The Cold.

And All I Get Is The Repetitions Of "Indifference".

Where Have The Lovers' Enthusiasm Gone?

Where Can Broken Hearts Go ; Without The Remedy Of Love?

If You' Ever Sort Out You'r Priorities One Day ;

And See That There Isnt Space On Your List Fer Me,

It'll Be Wise ;

Fer You To Tell Me To Give Up Now.

By Your Standards ;

I Don't Reckon You See Me As Being Important To You.

If You Have To Go ;

Just Leave.

But Don't Go Cold Before You Leave.

Wherever You Are ;

I'd Still Be Loving You.

And I'll Always Will.

-❤

when the heart speaks.

You'r Just Another Nas ;

Tell Me I Thought Wrong Of You.

saying ILY ;

i meant every single word i said.

i said it ; i can't take it back.

it pricks when you casually say it.

it says you don't really wanna mean it.

i wished my daddy was still here.

maybe things would be different.

maybe he'll have ways to make things better.

i wished those who'd left me ;

never left.

i wished those with me ;

lived eternally.

i wished i had a shoulder to cry on.

i realised looking for a shoulder to cry on was this hard;

it's like searching for a diamond in the barren lands.

i wished i mattered a lil' bit more.

i wished i was i had someone here wimme.

i wished he'd be the one who'd hold my hand ;

& guide me outta this dingy living hell.

i wished he'd never leave me.

i wished he'd love me.

i wished god was real.

i wished someone gamme back my faith.

i wished he teaches me to love and be loved.

i wished he could 'finally' be the one.

i wished he never be like the rest.

i wished i never had to "wander the streets of heartbreak city".

i wished it rained love ; faith and money at this very spot i stand.

i wished i still believed in fairytales.

i wished santa was real.

i wished he was real.

i wish she fergives me.

i wished i was someone else.

i wished i could sleep fer a hundred years and on.

i wished i never woke up.

i wished they knew i loved them,

i wished they knew i'd never stop loving them.

i wished the peace would live in this place.

i wished nobody disrupted this peace we once had.

i wished love was edible.

i wished shakespere found the remedy to heartaches.

Remember all the things we wanted

Now all our memories they're haunted

We were always meant to say goodbye

Even with our fists held high

It never would've worked out right

We were never meant for do or die

I didn't want us to burn out

I didn't come here to hold you, now I can't stop

I want you to know that it doesn't matter

Where we take this road someone's gotta go

And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better

But I want you to move on so I'm already gone

Looking at you makes it harder

But I know that you'll find another

That doesn't always make you want to cry

Started with a perfect kiss then we could feel the poison set in

Perfect couldn't keep this love alive

You know that I love you so, I love you enough to let you go

I want you to know that it doesn't matter

Where we take this road someone's gotta go

And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better

But I want you to move on so I'm already gone

I'm already gone, already gone

You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong

I'm already gone, already gone

There's no moving on so I'm already gone

Already gone, already gone, already gone

Already gone, already gone, already gone, yeah

Remember all the things we wanted

Now all our memories they're haunted

We were always meant to say goodbye

I want you to know that it doesn't matter

Where we take this road someone's gotta go

And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better

But I want you to move on so I'm already gone

I'm already gone, already gone

You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong

I'm already gone, already gone

There's no moving on so I'm already gone

they just don't see it.

they don't see that i've been keeping to myself lately.

they dont see that i'm no longer my bubbly self.

they dont realise that my glow's stubbed out.

all they think off me is ; everything about brina is about having fun/ partying.

they don't realise that i'm already affected by all these negativity.

they think that i'm too stupid to feel anything even.

they don't see the sacrifices i made ; just to minimize the jeopardy.

i wouldnt say i'm disappointed at how well they know me ;

when they shood already do.

i don't hold much hope.

i don't even bother changing their mentality of who i really am.

afterall ; i'm never good enough.

afterall ; i only know how to have fun.

now that i'm weakened, ; who's there to gimme strength.

they don't even bother paying attention to the joys in me that's shifted.

they don't even realise that afterall these pressure they put on me ;

they're causing me to dwindle even deeper ;

i'm losing myself even more ;

i forgot how it is being myself.

i forgot how it feels being loved. - honestly.

all everybody wants is a piece of me ;

i don't even know where i belong.

i don't even know if i'm even loved anymore.

it sucks to be me.

but i'm the only thing i have left.

idk. if he'll stand by me.

thru these hard times ; my dependancy could grow on him.

that's my greatest fear.

if been so afraid to get hurt that i've been shutting everyone out.

even my girlfriends who i know wouldnt do so.

but i just cant find any reasons to smile.

how the fuck am i gonna climb outta this pit?

i'm scared.

scared when he says ILY.

i'm scared.

scared that one day he too has to leave me like the rest.

i'm scared.

scared when i build a new bridge.

i'm scared.

now that i've lost everything ;

i'm scared to lose my sanity.

i'm scared of lonely.

i'm scared on laying on a shoulder, i know i could rely on.

i'm scared that one day ; i've nothing left of me.

i don't know what's to love of me anymore.

i don't like the sound that silence makes.

all i want is a peaceful life.

all it seems is that peace and brina can never happen in the same sentence.

To You ; I May Be Just Another Face In The Crowd ;

But To Me ; Ur The Only Reason Why I'm Still Here.

When The 2 Lonely Souls Tango-ed In The Rain;

Would There Be Sparks ; Would There Be Fireworks ; Would The Chemistry Live?

sillydreams were made of heartaches.

i feel that you don't care how it feels.

it doesnt really matter to you how i feel;

cux i'm just another face in the crowd ;

that surrounds you.

i'm one of those you've 'collected'.

i've been there too many times ;

to tell myself that i don't wanna live such a life no more.

i should deserve better.

when you'r far away ;

i cant wait to get right next to you ;

but when i'm in your arms ;

i feel like you'r in a different time.

i feel lonely and empty.

it's as if idk what am i even to you?

maybe time will tell ;

the answers i need to know.

maybe time wouldnt tell at all.

i'm afraid of getting hurt again ;

i'm afraid of walking down that dark and dingy road again by myself.

and having to go thru it all alone just to pick myself up.

i hate how scary it is.

that ring around your neck;

has a much astounding story behind it i reakoned;

it isnt any ring you've decided to lace around you.

you wont realise how it affects me everytime i see it.

it feels as if i mean nothing to you ;

cux there was something much worthy ;

that you'r reluctant to let go of.

you'r bringing her around ; 

even though your physically beside me.

i dont probe ; cux i feel i wanna respect ur past.

but another part of my brain tells that ;

when she no longer haunts you in your deepest trance ;

if she no longer makes ur heart ache in your wildest dreams;

it's when you'r ready to let me in.

its when you'll no longer lace her around you.

it's when you'll stop carrying this baggage with you.

still ; i'm this silly to think 

you'll really truly love me deep inside.

❤sabby`

-Midnight Rendevous With Mr.A

i❤me"BOYWONDER". =)

I'm Begining To Feel That I'm All Too Silly ;

To Actually Believe Deep In My Heart That He Truly Would Love Me.

I Feel Like Crying So Bad.

And I Realised That There's No One I Could Borrow A Shoulder From.

My So Called Friends Are All Too Tied Up In

"Painting More Masks / Painting More Towns Red"

While All I Do These Days ,

Is Fade To The Background.

Honestly ; Nobody Cares If You've Had A Bad Day ;

If You Need A Shoulder To Cry On.

If You Need A Friend Just To Be There;

Keepin' A Silent Vigil By Your Side.

I Realised These Days That No Amount Of Smiles Nor Laughter 

Could Erase Any Hurt.

No Amount Of Popcorn>ChickFlicks>IceCream Could Mend An Alr Crippled Friendship.

You Come To A Point Where You Get Sick And Tired ; To A Revolting Degree,

Of All Those People Who Just Wants A Piece Of You.

That's It ; I've Had Enough.

If You Loved Me ;

You'd Care Enough To Drop A Line.

A Text Maybe.

If You Loved Me You'd Prolly Wouldnt Have Said All Those.

You'd Prolly Wouldnt Have Done All These.

Well There's Only One Word Left To Say ;

Thanks! ; Thanks Fer Being A Friend.

Fate Brought You Here ; Destiny's In Our Hands.

i feel like ur drifting further and further away ;

keepin' in mind the fact that you constantly shut me out ;

i feel like ur not allowing me in at all.

i feel like crying out loud ; 

even if it's departure ; i still wanna cry out loud ;

and lay in your arms one last time. ='(

even if you have to leave me fer another ;

i sincierely hope you'll leave me some pretty memories;

for then you could leave me like the rest ;

while i stay behind ; lingerin' fer a lil' bit more.

i cannot fathom why i fall heads over heels with you ;

within the matter of days ;

knowing at the back of my heads that you'll vanish into mist;

amongst this insane world ; but i still fell fer you ;

nobody falls on purpose ; nobody.

if i could ; i'd want nobody but you.

if i could i wanna stick with you.

if i could i wanna love you with every being i am.

fate brought you here, but destiny was in our hands.

you chose to let it slip away.

ilybaby. =]

Ok.

So I Used To Have This Lover ; 

Whom I Tried So hard ; But Cannot Remember His Name.

I Initially Thot Was Him Whom'd Sent Me This Letter ;

Which I Was Told To Wait Fer It To Come By My Mailbox.

And Today I Recieved A Letter From A Mystery Guy ;

A Friend Of My Friend's ; Who Has Pretty Fraken Good English?

I'm Like WTF? Letter? From Where? From Who? Huh?

Ok ; I'm Pretty Freaked Out Right Now.

If I were a boy even just for a day

I'd roll out of bed in the morning

And throw on what I wanted

And go drink beer with the guys

And chase after girls

I'd kick it with who I wanted

And I'd never get confronted for it

'Cause they stick up for me

If I were a boy

I think I could understand

How it feels to love a girl

I swear I'd be a better man

I'd listen to her

'Cause I know how it hurts

When you lose the one you wanted

'Cause he's taking you for granted

And everything you had got destroyed

__________________

If I were a boy

I would turn off my phone

Tell everyone it's broken

So they'd think that I was sleeping alone

I'd put myself first

And make the rules as I go

'Cause I know that she'd be faithful

Waiting for me to come home, to come home

____________________

If I were a boy

I think I could understand

How it feels to love a girl

I swear I'd be a better man

I'd listen to her

'Cause I know how it hurts

When you lose the one you wanted

'Cause he's taking you for granted

And everything you had got destroyed

It's a little too late for you to come back

Say it's just a mistake

Think I'd forgive you like that

If you thought I would wait for you

You thought wrong

But you're just a boy

You don't understand

And you don't understand, oh

How it feels to love a girl

Someday you wish you were a better man

You don't listen to her

You don't care how it hurts

Until you lose the one you wanted

'Cause you're taking her for granted

And everything you had got destroyed

But you're just a boy

if i wasnt brina

I'd Laugh With You ; 

I'd Party With You ;

But No-body Understands Why I Don't Wanna Do None Of These Anymore.

no-body is honestly interested to know what happens in your life.

so yea ; i realised that being cooped in my solid solitude was much easier.

No-one know that behind these laughters i share with you ;

is a crying heart ; ripped apart.

i'm seriously tired ; 

tired of all these pretentious faces.

it makes me feel disgusted.

i realised nobody cares how you hurt ;

they're not even interested in the first place.

everyday ; i get outta bed and choose a new mask;

to conceal all the hurt that was piling.

everyday i leave the house leaving myself at home.

everyday i suck back those tears and laugh with them.

everyday i remind myself to seal those lips ;

and be as superficial as the rest ; afterall that's how they wanted me be.

i know i have things to lose ; if i were to go on like this ;

but i have nothing to gain from losing it.

every single time a setback occurs ; a lil' creativity get stubbed out;

however i apologize fer not being as bubbly and carefree as you are ;

i can't do it without realising my bleeding heart.

if life had other options ;

i'd coose and re-choose.

if i could control the who, what, where, when , hows ,

i was born ; i would do it all over again.

if i could choose the people i love ; 

that allowed them to hurt me ;

i'll choose all over again.

if i could change the sequences in life ;

i'd live it again.

if i had one wish left.

i'd choose death.

its easier.

if i wasnt brina ; 

re-connext. connoxion lost in previos translations.

if you look closely enough ; but not scruntinizing ;
You'll see that something in me's shifted.
the notion of indifference that i flaunt.
idk what's becoming of myself anymore ;
it's like without you ; a lil' more gets robbed.

i shood probably start with a hello ;
but i'm not even interested to know what behind that smile ;
i figured i don't prefer ignorance on my part anymore.
i want the grounds i stand on to be solid ;
i wanna build us a solid foundation ;
to much lies and secrecies ; and you'll be swept away.
-i don't expect you to have the kind of love i have fer you ;
cux i know not everyone has as much love to give out like i do.
-i don't expect you to rush every proccess;
but you'll see that we're getting weary with each day unspoken.

idk why and why?
i feel like your pushing me away ;
i feel as if you'r not allowing me to enter.
if it's so ; idk why i'm not told of.
everyday i patiently wait ; feeling like a fool ;
but i do anyways ;

i think i love you ;
i think i miss you ;
but i think i shant.
i can see myself ;
perfectly happy in your loving ;
i can see myself ;
shattered and wounded cux i loved you ;
i wished you never changed my mentality;
cux my mentality was what "protected" me ;
i'm tired of tryin' and tryin so hard ;
but all i get is silence ;
i hate being unofficial ;
nobody get's my drift.
livin' on the hush hush aint fun ;
living each day where i can't speak of my love ; to anyone
i'm tired of tryin' so hard to make it right;
when i 1st met you ; i thought this time imma make it right as possible.
i'm honestly tired of tryin everyday ; makin' it right,
witnessing all others around me having it right.
i hate that piercing pain of emptiness ;
it's a darkness ; my smiles cannot conceal ;
seem like you'v fergotton ;
seem like you merely casually said it ;
if you want ; i'd forfiet all sweet nothings ;

if your reading this ;
i don't mean to do this ;
but i found myself fallin' fer you ;
i tried hard getting out ;
but i sunk even deeper in this quicksand.
if you want me out alr ;
the only way is you.
you gotta do this even if i'd hate you ;
but come one day ; shood we pass on the streets ;
i'd still flash your favourite smile.
;
the other solution is ;
to prolong this pain ;
this awfull longing ;
this insane pushing and pullin'
till one fine day ;
where we break @ the weakest.
yeapsyeapx.
i'd prolly prefer this ;
at least crying and bawling doesnt feel that painful.
at least a heartache was worth connexion,
rather than a heartache with my heart @ stake; and no-one that tried.
to wrap up an absurd post ;
ILY baby ;

i've been waiting fer you to get home ;
it's 00.26mn ; and switched over to realised that your prolly still out;
-decided to quit msn ; at least i don't have to keep waiting ;
and not be able to sleep ; waking up every 10 mins to check if ur online ;
hoping i could catch you fer a short convo ; at least it makes my day;
-didnt text you ; in fear that you might be busy with other stuff ;
how silly ; im always sparing a thot fer another ;
and not myself ; eitherways ; you didnt reply my text otherwise ;
why don't you realise the term actions speaks louder than words?
you tell me ILYbaby each night ;
but i cant see it ; i'm too visualistic ;
i need to see it ; touch it ; feel it ;
you said yes you do ;
miss me and have feelings fer me ;
but i don't understand why ; you cannot see that;
tellin me ILY everynight online ; those pet names ; those secret codes;
-these don't matter? to me it's the lil things you do fer me that matter ;
unless you don't really mean them ; but oh well.
i don't need flowers ; i don't need a whirlwind romance ; i don't need 'em glitah ;
all i need and want is you.
i don't think you respect me as someone you'd love ;
ur prolly thinking = lover.
i have my limits too ;
to how much i'd be willing to commit to ; in the name of love
be it requitted
or unreciprocated.

ILYbaby;

This Is One Of Those Times ;
Where I Just Wanna Go Away ;
Just Fade Away Like Music On The BackGround.
Go Somewhere Where Nobody Knows Me ;
Where No One Can Contact Me ;
Only That I Don't Wanna Be All Alone In This "Expedition".
I've Been Meaning To Say ;
I Dont Know Where Or When The "Next Level" Starts ;
But To Embark On This Journey ; I Need You ;
Only Then Would I Have The Courage ;
The Courage To Be Anything I Wanna Be;
The Courage To Be Anything You Want Be To Be;
Only Then Inhabitations Don't Live Within The Both Of Us ;
Awkwardness I Sense ; Don't Lie Between Us ;
I Want So Bad To Love You ;
I Want So Bad To Have You ;
I Want To Show You What Love Is Made Of ;
Sugar ; Spice ; And Everything Nice. =)
But As Of Now ; All I Can Do Is To Write Them Fanatasies
On The Walls Of My Imaginative Minds ;
Pray The Stars Have My Heart ;
Prays Them Fairies Have My Back ;
Pray Them Fairy Dust Don't Fail Me ;
And Pray Fer A Lil' Magic.
That'll Be Fer Magic.

Now Emotions ;
Somehow I'll Think Me Inferior - Standing Next To You.
In My Eyes ; In My Heart ; I Hold Upmost Greatest Love Possible Fer You ;
To Me ; Your So Close To My Template Of Perfection ;
My very Own Lil' Version Of Perfection.
-My Insecurities Somehow Kills Me Inside ;
Silently ; SecondByTheSecond ; DayByDay ;
It Rip Me Apart On Days We Hardly Speak ;
It Eats Me Alive ; On Days We Don't Touch.
I've Shattered ; I've Crumbled ; I've Been Bruised I've Been Blazed.
This Confirms A Theory Of An Infactuation ;
This Is No Infactuation ; ILY.
No Doubt.
; Baby ; Don't Lose My Heart.

id decided;
id still stay by your side ;
or at least that's how i think'
i'll stay till your good enough;
good enough;
till your' good enough to spread ur wings and fly;
i'll stay by your side;
tho it's painful;
tho i'm hurting inside;
but i once casually promised i'll never disappoint you;
i keep my words ;
and i'll not disappoint you.
ILY sweets;
ILY;

i know i've gotta hang in there;
thats what i'm merely doing;
haning in there.
i'll still try to fake a smile ;
tho i know my heart doesnt feel like it;
i know i still have friends who care;
i'm aware.
i can't bear to see them hear me cry;
or to see my tears.
i'll fake that smile ;
that laughter i'm know for;
smile the number of seconds it lasts;
conceal every pain my heart's locked in;
shood i not be the Usual BREE;
today or tmr;
i ask for your forgiveness;
i won't be far;
i know this pain would soon be over;
prettyquick.

if you still care;
just love me;
i' thank you in my silent degree.
=)

FUCK THY KINGDOM. CAN'T WAIT FER THY KINDOM TO COME ; SO ALL THIS SHIT WOULD END

I'll Never Leave You Behind When I'm No.1.
Never In My Strength Would I;
Nor Will I;
-Its You Birthday ;
It Isnt Exactly Congratory ;
Still If You Ever Had The Knowledge;
I Want You To Know That;
I'll Never Leave You Behind When I'm @ No.1
ILY.





Idk Why Must God Test Us In The Way;
Does He Really Think It's That Fucking Sek-xiting;
To See His Beloved Earthling/ Children Tortured In This Mortal World;
When All We've Got It This One "Canvas";
Whether Tinted Or Brushed In Vibrant Notes;
We Don't Have An "Immortal" Way Out;
Tho I Know His Testings Too Are Mortal;
But In This Mortal Life;
Everyday In A Rut Is A Bad Enough Torment;
I Don't See Why;
I HONESTLY DONT.
My Mum Tells Me To Go Back To Church;
I Don't See Why Do I Even Have To,
"The-God-Almighty" Himself ;
Is Making Me Start To Believe That There Isnt A GOD;
If There Ever Was A God; These Heart-Wrenching Episodes Never Occured.
If There Really Is A God Out There ; I"M HATING HIM; As Of This Hour Of Torment.
I'm Not Saying Its A Coincidence.
I'm Saying This Is All A JOKE.
Being In The Mortal Surroundings Is A Even Bigger Joke.
I Don't See A Reason Why I Have To Believe In A GOD;
When Prayers Are NEVER ANSWERED.
Tie Me To A TREE ;
STONE ME TO DEATH;
For Blaspheming His "ALMIGHTY" NAME;
I'm Not Giving A FLYING FUCK AS OF NOW;
I FUGGIN' Hate The God My Mum Holds True FAITH In;
Since 4 I Was Told He Loves Me;
Where The Fuck Is The LOVE MAN?
Where The FUCK Is My FRAKEN LOVE.
HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU SHOWING ME YOUR LOVE?
BY TORMENTING ME; TIME AND AGAIN ;
ON DIFFERENT AREAS OF MY LIFE;
GREY / BLACK / WHITE.
WHERE'S THE FUCKING Gs ; EVERYONE ELSE'S GETTING?
THERE'S THEM FRAKEN HARMONY EVERY FAMILY OWNS?
WHERE THE FUCKING LOVE YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO SHOWER ME WITH;
SINCE BEING TOLD @ 4.
BLASPHEMING; YES! I AM; YOUR NAME I AM;
I SHALL ANSWER TO YOU IF EVER THERE WAS A HEAVEN.
I DONT CARE IF YOU BRING ME TO YOUR SO CALLED HEAVEN I WAS POISONED INTO BELIVEING @ 4;
CUX I DON'T REALLY CONDONE DEATH.
I'D VERY MUCH LIKE TO THINK OF IT AS A ETERNAL RELEASE;
FROM THIS UNREALISTIC, MORTAL, FUGGIN RETARDED WORLD OR UR'S.
GOD IS GREAT!
SO IS THE DEVIL; CRIMINALS;PROTITUTES;JUNKIES;RUNAWAY LOVERS'
OTHERWISE THERE'LL BE NO FUCKING BALANCE IN ''THY FUCKING KINGDOM"
HONESTLY SCREW ALL YA'LL HYPOCRITES WHO SO LIKE TO SO CALL THEMSELVES FUCKING CHRISTIANS.
MY ASS! JUST;JUST SCREW YOU.

I Knew It.
I Knew You Wouldnt Be That Easy To COme By;
I Knew You Wouldnt Be That Easy To Love.
I Knew I Streak Fer Falling Fer The Same Kinds Of Men
Would Not Just Stop; Just Beacuse I Tamed Myself Down;
Just Because I Stop All Of My Nonsense;
Just Because I Was Brushing Up My Image.
I Know My Fate Is Sealed In This Life.
IDK Why; I Just Know It.
All I ever want Is Just Walk Into Your Life And Open Up Your Wounded Heart.
I Wanna Let You Love Again ; In My Presence.
I Don't Care For Your Flaw;
Cux It's Them That Makes You Who You Are Today.



"I'm Your Biggest Fan ; I'll Follow You Untill You Love Me!
Papa-Papa-Razzi!"

I Wished I Had The Courage; I Wished I Wasnt Afraid.
ILY.
Fer Now Until-

i'm thankful ; i'm a dreamer

i wanna return home ;
after a busybusy day ;
after a stressfullstressful day;
to your love ; awaiting.
i wanna know that just one kiss ;
and all them troubles would usually disappear fer a second or so.
i wanna lye in your arms ;
knowing i have comfort in you.
i wanna come home to a ;Love
who'd bear this weight of the world together wimme.


-dream a lil dream of me.

at the least

if you don't care ;
i dont see why i have to.
i don't see why i cant be the next indifferent one.
i don't see why i cant be caught up on other stuffs?
sounds like i'm hissing ; telling others to keep out - tone.
deep inside ; he doesnt see that i' feel so darn empty ; lonely.
i wished i never told him how i loved him ;
i wished he never told me how he loves me more each day.
cux it makes it so much more difficult to be mean to him.
it may be a statement afterall ;
but however cheap his words maybe ;
i alr bought em.
no refunds ; no exchange ; no returns.

my friends are all right.
you've proved my point.
my friends say you're no good fer me;
still this obstinateOnstinate me refuses to let it budge.
i cave in lil' by lil,
giving in to your whimps and nonchalance bit by bit.
till i realise after so many years of hurting ;
i'm still the only one tryna make it right.
struggling to make this one and only perfection.
i'm still the only one.
Just the thought of it makes me boil inside.
why can't you say what a jerk usually says,
lemme cry ; oh~ so sorrowfully,
lemme drown em sorrows in non other than the almighty tequila ;
revert them old ways of partying and all nonsense ;
and get bored of it ; at least i'll no longer be stuck on you.
At The Least. at The Least.
but since i'm this obstinate ;
imma hang on. play the fool ;be that fool fer you ;
have my wounded heart broken ; cry ; bawl ; curse ;
associate all men in a category ; and then have them hurt me again.
-ILIKEIT! vehvehvehveh... ... ...

BabyBaby ; If You'll Heighten This Ecstasy ;
Or I'll Forever Be Romancing This WearyWeary Soul

Once Upon A Perfect Stranger

For Once In Your Arms ; I Didnt Feel Like I Was Just A Doll.

For When We're Apart, My Presence , Available Or Not,

Didnt Seem To Maim You A Tiny Bit It Seemed.

I Know Of The Directions I Want In You.

You Leave My Heart To Fend Fer Itself,

You Left My Love To Die.

You'd Never Knew The Value Of Absence,

In You, I Saw That Glimpse Of Miracle - Heaven Sent.

In You, I Saw My Probable "Guardian Angel".

Don't Prove My Point.

You're The Only One I Want To Myself.

Though You May Have Many,

Don't Tell Me What I Saw Were Just Filthy Fronting.

I Keep Telling Myself ; Baby, It's Too Premature To Talk Love.

Yes I Know That.

I Once Spoiled It Al By Saying Something Stupid Like ILY,

This Time I'd Try Dodging My Emotions.

I Can't Fathom The Whys

These Tears Crawl Up In My Pillows At Night,

But I Figure It's You'r Nonchalance I Have To Fight.

They Tell Me ; "Love Knows Not It's Abundance Till It's Cradled".

All I Can Tell Them Is - The Time Probably Isnt Right.

I Hate My Stands On This Connection ;

I Can't Stand The Hold You Have On Me.

"Competions" Cannot Wait Till You've Arrived.

I Have To Live My Life.

My Heart's Anchored It's Wounded Self On You ;

I Don't Have Much Control Over.

From You ; And I Quote Mama Theresa ;

You Don't Love When You'r Not Letting Others In.

Touche My Perfect-est Stranger , Touche.

Once Upon a Perfect Stranger

peppermonia

-Maybe. (My Sentiments Exactly.)

Beep Beep Oh Look Now There Goes My Phone
And Once Again Im Just Hoping Its A Text From You

(Bridge)
It Aint Right i read your Messages Twice thrice
Four Times A Night Its True
Everyday I Patiently Wait
Feeling Like A Fool But I Do Anyway
Nothing Can Feel As Sweet And As Real
As Knowing I Wasn't Waiting In Vain

(Chorus)
And Maybe Its True (may be its true) Im caught Up On You
Maybe Theres A Chance That you're
Stuck On Me Too
So Maybe Im wrong Its All In My Head
Maybe We're Afraid of Words We Both Hadnt Said

(Verse 2)
I'm Always Connected Online
Hooked On *Facebook* All The Time
Hoping You've Checked My Profile
just cant help wondering why
you play it cool cz,
im hopelessly falling for you

*every nite on my phone i
hook up with you
and i dont even like it girl
all chookin in side
why dont you and i
come owt and see what were thrying to hide *

(Chorus)
And Maybe Its True Oh (may be its true) Im caught Up On You
(Maybe Yeh)Maybe Thers A Chance That You're Stuck On Me Too
So Maybe Im wrong Its All,In My Head
Maybe We're Afraid Words We Both Hadnt Said

*like i realy want you
i think i need you
baby i miss you
im thinking of you

(Chorus)
And Maybe Its True Oh (may be its true) Im caught Up On You
(Maybe Yeh)Maybe Thers A Chance That You're Stuck On Me Too
So Maybe Im wrong Its All,In My Head
Maybe We're Afraid Words We Both Hadnt Said

maybe it is true
im caught up on you
maybe i am wrong
baby i miss you

Misses "Mr.BigBadWolf", But Somewhere,
At The Back Of My Heads I Know,
I Mustnt Sink Further.
I Know Truly Well ;
That Imma Regret For The Rest Of My Life ;
The Decision I Made Today.
All I Can Do At The Most Is Live Each Day As It Is,
Smile The Number Of Seconds It Lasts,
Each Morning/Night I Get A Text.
It's Silly To Read It Over And Over Again,
But I Do Anyways.

Tell Myself "Once The Glits And Glamour Fades Away,
The Lonely 'Actress' Would Sit And Bawl,
Cux Tonight's The Last Time The Curtains'd Fall".

I Don't Wanna Be The Only One Left.
I Don't Wanna be The Only Fool Left In The Dark.
I Don't Wanna Be The Only One Reminicing When There's None To Begin With.
I Don't Wanna Be The Only One Longing Fer A Love So Undefined.
I Don't Wanna.

it's either i'm going crazy; 

or i'm merely fallin' in love.