if you look closely enough ; but not scruntinizing ;
You'll see that something in me's shifted.
the notion of indifference that i flaunt.
idk what's becoming of myself anymore ;
it's like without you ; a lil' more gets robbed.
i shood probably start with a hello ;
but i'm not even interested to know what behind that smile ;
i figured i don't prefer ignorance on my part anymore.
i want the grounds i stand on to be solid ;
i wanna build us a solid foundation ;
to much lies and secrecies ; and you'll be swept away.
-i don't expect you to have the kind of love i have fer you ;
cux i know not everyone has as much love to give out like i do.
-i don't expect you to rush every proccess;
but you'll see that we're getting weary with each day unspoken.
idk why and why?
i feel like your pushing me away ;
i feel as if you'r not allowing me to enter.
if it's so ; idk why i'm not told of.
everyday i patiently wait ; feeling like a fool ;
but i do anyways ;
i think i love you ;
i think i miss you ;
but i think i shant.
i can see myself ;
perfectly happy in your loving ;
i can see myself ;
shattered and wounded cux i loved you ;
i wished you never changed my mentality;
cux my mentality was what "protected" me ;
i'm tired of tryin' and tryin so hard ;
but all i get is silence ;
i hate being unofficial ;
nobody get's my drift.
livin' on the hush hush aint fun ;
living each day where i can't speak of my love ; to anyone
i'm tired of tryin' so hard to make it right;
when i 1st met you ; i thought this time imma make it right as possible.
i'm honestly tired of tryin everyday ; makin' it right,
witnessing all others around me having it right.
i hate that piercing pain of emptiness ;
it's a darkness ; my smiles cannot conceal ;
seem like you'v fergotton ;
seem like you merely casually said it ;
if you want ; i'd forfiet all sweet nothings ;
if your reading this ;
i don't mean to do this ;
but i found myself fallin' fer you ;
i tried hard getting out ;
but i sunk even deeper in this quicksand.
if you want me out alr ;
the only way is you.
you gotta do this even if i'd hate you ;
but come one day ; shood we pass on the streets ;
i'd still flash your favourite smile.
;
the other solution is ;
to prolong this pain ;
this awfull longing ;
this insane pushing and pullin'
till one fine day ;
where we break @ the weakest.
yeapsyeapx.
i'd prolly prefer this ;
at least crying and bawling doesnt feel that painful.
at least a heartache was worth connexion,
rather than a heartache with my heart @ stake; and no-one that tried.
to wrap up an absurd post ;
ILY baby ;
