❧
im sorry for using this word; but im honestly jaded,
of all that's happening around me.
i just want everything to stop.
even if you not ready to love me;
i just want it it stop.
as much as i love you;
i'm getting very weary as day goes by of this contant shoving,
of this constant haggling.
i love you; i wanna stay on with you;
but everything depends on you.
you've alot on your plate ; i understand.
you cannot afford more love for another ; i understand.
all the more i should be distancing myself from you.
i can't bear the thought of not having to hear from you;
i cant bear the thought of never feeling your touch.
like the one before ; i got over it.
i finally got over it.
im tired.
tired of all this shoving.
you'll never love me;
i don't understand why you couldnt come to terms with it.
i've alr accepted the fact.
my obstinate heart refuses to let me go.
i'm chained to a persistant heart that never gives up.
i wish everything would just go away right now.
i wish i could be as carefree as anyone else.
everyday its a constant struggle.
everyday its a constant warfare.
i just want it to stop so bad.
please, make it stop.
my heart no longer bleeds;
i'm conditioned to such harsh surroundings.
living this life; i have nothing to be thankful anymore;
apart from the fact that this breath is the only thing i own.
precious than any other ; i would give this up,
for just one second of silence.
where this world no longer chases me,
where this world no longer judges me.
nothing at all is going right.
its all going down. down.
nobody ever sees this cry for help.
they're too busy living their sinful lives.
no-one actually cares for sincierity no more.
all she wants is me to do more;
and score great.
all she wants is me to have less,
but score awesome.
all they want is me not to disappoint them;
but all they do is disappoint me constantly.
they want me to be a grown up;
when im only a child.
they want me to be a millionaire;
when im only a poor college student.
they want me to fast forward my life;
when i still havent found my grounds.
they want me to fly;
when i can barely walk.
they want me to impress with eloquence,
when i can hardly speak.
they pinned their hopes on me;
hoping i'd never disappoint them;
when all they do is bring me down.
they want me to run;
when im wounded.
he wants me around;
cux he thinks i'll never sell.
he wants me around;
so i'll forever be his plaything.
no-one is ever insterested in what i've gotta say.
this yelp for help;
this cry for attention.
promise me you'll cry your hardest.
promise me you'll dress your best.
promise me you'll never ferget my laughter;
promise me you'll visit me.
❧
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