Sabrina Yves'xydora

My Intentions Of Blogging Was Massive Days Before.
However, Under Such Circumstances Blogging Was The Least Possible.
Least Possible As To Even Thinking Of It, Hurt So Bad.
It Was So Wrenching To Re-live It.
It's True.
It's As If I'd Developed A Symptom Over The Years.
Over The Years Of Being Twirled Around In This Vicious Cycle.
Selective Amnesia.
That's What They Call It I Guess.
I Just Tend To Block Out Events, People, Things
That Hurt So Badly To Me.
It's True.
I Was Made To Grow Under Such Circumstances.
Where Everything Surrounding My Adolesence's So Twisted.
Living Away Was My Only Escapade,
To Making Things Work Fer Me.
Having So Much On My Minds,
Weighing As Much,
School And Family Are'nt Helping.

Nights Before Slumber Comes Nightmares.
Days Of Sleeping On Questions,
I Haven't Come Up With A Solution Yet.
Times When You've Got No One You Could Count On,
Only Moral Support From Ur Mates,
But Not In Any Other Forms.
Sometimes I Just Wanted All These Troubles To Go Away.
Right After They're Done Bugging Me.

Everything That You Do Or Say,
Do You KNow It Affects Me?
First You're Sweeter Than Honey.
You'r Calls Never Stopped Flooding In.
You'r Textes, I'd Never Delete.
You'r Kisses Never Halt.
You'r Smile Never Failed.
That's When I Fell In Love.
(It's Been Awhile I Found Something This Solid)
And The Next,
You'r Colder Than Lonely Nights.
You'r Calls Literally Stopped.
You'r Textes, I'd Did'nt Get Any.
You'r Kisses Stopped Coming.
You'r Smile's Never Seen.
All These After You've Got What You Wanted.
I Never Wanted To Categorize You With Any Other Guys.
Cuz I Never Felt Like You Deserved To Be Assosiated With 'Em.
Not Till This Present Day,
Coming From Your' Abrupt Indifference.
It Spells EVERYTHING.

You Call Just Not To Speak, On The Other Side Of The Line?
Or Are You Just Dropping A Line To See If I'd Kicked The Bucket Yet.
Well Sadly To Say Nopexz, I'm Still Very Much Alive And Kicking.
-Lock Your Cellphone's Keypads Honey.
I Won't Take "It Was An ACCIDENT" Fer An Answer.

To Think I Took You SERIOUSLY.
I Really Though I Could Love You.
Cuz You Were An ABSOLUTE "Rareity".
I Though You Were Very Much Different.
I Saw Something In You That I Never Had BEFORE.
A Figure I'd Never Had.
I Though We Could Really Work This Out.
My Days Spent With You,
I Was Elated,Estatic Fer Each Coming Day.
I Was Never Happier.
But When Your Calls Suddenly Stopped,
I Kinda Felt Nothing.
It's As If I'm Really Retarded Towards Feelings.
I Think It's What The Call Jaded.
I Don't Really Care If You Call Or Don't.
Jaded Is What Am.
To All'o Ya'all Nonsenses.


I Guess This Is Good-Bye Then.

-Paprika


My Fourty Year Old Virgin.